Untouchable

I am one of those girls that dream. You know of things that I'll never be able to do, people I'll never be able to meet, and a love that I am incapable of feeling. I live vicariously through my dreams. The problem is that I never am able to keep to one dream, or one dream guy. Its never that I stop liking the dream guy its just that I move on. Let me explain...more. When I dream of Dream guys they are guys from movies and televsision shows. And what I mean is that I never stop liking an actor, I simply find a new movie leading to a new actor leading to a new dream guy. So I guess you could say that me moving on was never personal, it was just show business. Or it was until now. There were many oppertunities when I were to actually interact with an actor, an infamous dream guy. However, I could never commit to "talking" to them. (Talking of course meaning emailing them, or adding them on facebook.) I know it would seem dumb to not be that much closer to my dream guy, but I could only see the negative. What if my dream guy I meet... and something happens. I get rejected as a friend from facebook, or worst I find out hes gay. I mean that would just crush me to the ground and eat me alive. So I would never make any contact with my dream guy. Leaving only my dreams for him to really live, and on the television screen. Until now... His name was Ben Scheur. He was a reality show star on the television show "Endurance Fiji." He was my age, and was totally cute. A perfect fit for my dream guy. And so he became...my dream guy. I had only begun to embark the dream full of twists and turns that ultimately would end with him and I as a couple when something happen. Something very tragic. Oh so tremedously tragic. I found that he would have a facebook. Now of course my first thought was to forget that he had one and move on. But as the more episodes of this truly dumb show I watched I kept wondering of his facebook. WIth those thoughts were positive and negative thoughts. I could find out if he was single, but on the other hand I would find out if he was single. DId I really want to do that. It would change my trite relationship with dream guy into a real crush some dorky star-struck girl had on a reality show boy. Did I really want that, no I didn't. So I thought... My teenage angst was against my own wanting. I hated it, and I regret the wrongful decsion that I made. If you can guess by now, I did in fact add him. After 3 days of requesting add I had forgotten about the request. Those days were the last days of my perfect dream. I had found out that he was... perfect. He loved the music that I loved, the TV shows I watch, and that dorky cute thing that I really really hope he would be. Oh yeah and he was a Christian, talk about the cherry on top of a perfect banana split. Then once I decided to dig deeper into the question which dreaded me most. Was he available? Okay I would like to go on record now to say that I am not one of those girls. You know the ones that keep posters of celebrites on their walls and kiss them, the one that knows every single band he likes, or his favorite brand of ice ceam. I t was just that ... well hes the dream guy. He was made to be perfect, he was specially put on this earth to look cute and be my dream guy. But like I've said before once I have "meet" the person they are now on the category of crush. They are no longer just a dream guy, but a crush on a guy that I'll never ever ever meet. Therefore, if something about this per say guy were imperfect, like "having a girlfriend" it would just crush me and eat me alive. To clarify that I am not crazy, and he was no longer just a dream guy. My endless search on his facebook page only made me doubt more and more if I really wanted to know the answer to the question. But of course I am a persistent little girl, and I found the answer. His status was that he was... MARRIED. Of course its just a joke, right? I mean he is my age, he can't be married. But... maybe...what if... I finally came to the conclusion that I really didn't want to come to. He had a girlfriend that he was really really close to and he thought that they were "practically married" (as my friends in relationships love to categorize theirs as.) But I have no hard proof evidence. So I search some more. I would not rest until the girl who stole my dream guy was found. She was going down. This is where the dream and the story ends. She was one of the girls on the reality show. She was his girlfriend, they were practically married, she was even... I am sad to say his first kiss. I was so very crushed. My heart was hurt from a fire of a thousand flames. How dare she steal my dream guy, my unreal crush. But if she thinks that she can steal my dream guy from my dreams she is mistaken. I will not give up to her, or at least in my dreams. Becuase I have finally realized that my dreams, are untouchable.